This Is Love
by Neffie
Summary: *SLASH* One-shot. Song fic. Skittery/?


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AN: And here it is. The next installment in the _Tragically Lyrical _series, a series of separate one-shot slashy song fics. This has taken me forever and a day to write. I dedicate this to FictionHobbit, who has been there to encourage and kick me in the ass till I finished this. The pairing is Skittery/? (read to find out you impatient fiends). The song is "This Is Love" by Mary Chapin Carpenter.

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Title: This Is Love

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Author: Neffie

If you ever need to hear a voice in the middle of the night

When it seems so black outside that you can't remember 

Light ever shone on you or the ones you love in this or another lifetime

We're lying together in this small bed, locked safely in the extra room at the end of the hall. He's shaking and I pull him closer, but it causes him to cry out. I want him to wake up so he can know that he is safe now, but I've learned that sometimes it's best to just let him ride the nightmares out. They come every night, ever since he first came here. Some are worse than others. He says he can tell how bad they'll be that night, that he can feel them coming like rain by the ache of his bones. He lets me know when the bad ones are coming, and then Kloppman lets him sleep in the extra room because his screams wake up the rest of the guys. I stay in there with him. I know how much he hates waking up alone, when he still isn't sure if he ever really escaped. I don't even know if I should call them dreams, they're more like memories that come when he sleeps.

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And the voice you need to hear is the true and the trusted kind, with a soft 

Familiar rhythm in these swirling, unsure times, when the waves are lapping in 

And you're not sure you can swim, well here's the lifeline

He wakes up with a scream and bolts upright. We keep the bedside lamp burning so he knows where he is when awareness dawns. Pulling him into my arms, I rub his back gently. It still chills me when I can feel the jagged scars through his think pink long johns. Warm tears soak through my shirt and he sobs against my chest. Mumbling soft reassurances in his ear till I feel him starting to relax. He never tells me about his dreams, but he doesn't have to. Eventually he lies back down, making sure that I'm not going to let go of him. I smooth back the brown hair that is plastered to his forehead with sweat. 

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If you ever need to feel a hand take up your own 

When you least expect but want it more than you've ever known 

Baby, here's that hand, and baby's here's my voice that's calling

There won't be another dream tonight. I whisper a quick prayer of thanks for that. He's too exhausted to dream now. Funny really, that I'm the one that has the hardest time falling back asleep these days. I stare at the small flame from the lamp and remember things that would best be forgotten by the both of us, then I think "what if?" until my head feels like its gonna bust. Then I look at him and I'm amazed that after all he's gone through, he trusts me enough to let down his defenses so completely. It hasn't been an easy road, that's for damn sure.

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If you ever need some proof that time can heal your wounds, just step 

Inside my heart and walk around these rooms; where the shadows used to be, 

You can feel as well as see how peace can hover

Morning comes and he wakes slowly, he stretches and rubs at his shoulder that still aches occasionally. His eyes, still bleary with sleep, open and immediately seek my face. He grins slightly, to reassure me that he is okay, more than anything. I kiss his forehead and whisper softly. "Time ta carry da banner."

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Time's been here to fix what's broken with its power and the love that 

Smashed us both to bits spent its last few hours calling out your name, 

And I thought, this is the kind of pain from which we don't recover

It never ceases to amaze me how he can smile and laugh and joke around with the guys these days. I watch as he and Dutchy go through their morning game of stealing each other's hats. He's no longer afraid to be touched, he doesn't flinch away from sudden movements. Occasionally there are incidents… like last week when Specs was teaching him to play chess. Snoddy snuck up behind him and put a hand over his eyes and wrapped his other arm around his chest pinning him. He screamed like he did when his nightmares come. I came running back into the room just in time to see him fling Snoddy off him and then dart out the front door. I followed him till he turned down an alley. He slid down the brick wall and started saying "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," over and over. I held him for close to an hour before he straightened up, wiped his face on his sleeve. We had walked back to the lodging house without a word.

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But I'm standing here now with my heart held out to you 

You would have thought a miracle was all that got us through 

Well baby, all I know, all I know is I'm still standing

Now we're sitting at Tibby's (headlines have been good this month) and he's stirring his straw around in his glass and staring into it like the secrets of the universe are in there. There's something on his mind, I can tell. I decide to wait him out. After a long silence he clears his throat. "Can I ask youse somethin'?"

"You just did," I joke, trying to bring a smile to his somber expression.

He makes a sound like he tries to laugh but it came out as a sigh. There's another long pause.

"Why do you put up with me?" he blurts out.

I nearly choke on my sandwich. "Why do I _what_?"

He shrugs and starts to stare even harder into his drink. "You know, why do you go through so much trouble just to take care of me?"

I just stare at him for a moment, how can he ask such a stupid question? "Because I love youse, ya big dummy." I say simply.

He looks up at me, eyes wide. He takes a quick look around the almost completely empty restaurant. "You…. love me?"

I can't stop the grin that spreads across my face. "Yeah."

He smiles back, and I wish for the millionth time that he smiled more often. Then, in a voice so soft I almost don't hear it, he says "I love youse too."

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And this is love, all that ever was and will be 

This is love, standing up for you baby, standing up for me 

And I see you still and there's this catch in my throat; 

And I just swallow hard till it leaves me 

There's nothing in this world that can change what we know 

Still I know I am here if you ever need me

It's dusk and we're sitting next to each other on the roof smoking cigarettes. We're both getting a little too old to be newsies. In less than a year or two we'll be working jobs in factories or something like that. More than likely it will be apart. The thought causes my blood to freeze. I can't imagine living without him. It's like we are wrapped up in each other. There is no me, no him, just us. That's all that matters to me. I don't want to grow up if it means losing him. Who would hold him at night when his dreams are bad? Who would wipe away his tears when the memories refuse to let go?

"It's beautiful, ain't it?" his soft voice breaks through my thoughts. He gestures out to the sky. To the west there is a sliver of red at the horizon, framed by a million shades of purple. To the east, the stars are just starting to show. I turn and look at him just as he blows out a long stream of smoke.

"Yeah. Sure is," I whisper.

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If you ever think of me, let it be around twilight, when the world has 

Settled down, and the last round of sunlight is waning in the sky as you 

Sit and watch the night descending

I crawl under the covers next to him and we wrap our arms around each other. Our lips linger in a slow, perfect kiss. When we finally pull apart, he sighs, content, and lays his head against my chest. It will be awhile before he falls asleep. I'm staring at the ceiling when I hear his voice in the darkness.

"I love you Bumlets."

I pull him closer to me, resting my head against his. "I love you too Skittery."

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And this is love, all that ever was and will be 

This is love, when you let it baby, if you let it now 

This is love, all that ever was and can be 

This is love

~ The End ~

AN: At long last! It is finished! Even though FictionHobbit stole my pairing ::glares in her general direction:: I luffle her anyways. And I hope Blaze forgives me, I know how skeptical she is about Bumlets slash.

REVIEW!!! (please?)


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